


Home For Christmas

by smallamountsofmonster



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 10:41:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5413745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallamountsofmonster/pseuds/smallamountsofmonster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She heard a sharp plastic click as she walked through the doorway and felt Lexa tense beside her.<br/>“Clarke,” Lexa said quietly, staring straight ahead.  “Run.”<br/>There was no time for anything else before she saw a nerf torpedo slam into the side of Lexa’s head.  She ducked, grabbed Clarke’s wrist, and yanked her to the side into the dining room.  <br/>“What is - “<br/>“I thought this might happen,” Lexa cut her off, leading Clarke to cover under the dining room table.<br/>“What might happen?”<br/>“War, Clarke,” Lexa said seriously.</p><p>OR:  The Christmas one-shot where Clarke meets Lexa’s family by leading a child army to victory, where Lexa is stubborn and charming, and where Anya is surly and lovely and bad at losing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home For Christmas

“I should have brought something else.”

Lexa glanced over at Clarke with an eyebrow raised.  She reached over and laid a hand on top of hers as she refocused on the road.

“You brought pie.  You brought three pies,” she said calmly.

“Yeah,” Clark sighed, and ran her free hand through her hair.  “Yeah.”  They settled into silence - Lexa thought - comfortably.  She was looking forward to seeing her family.  Christmas was the only time everyone could drop their obligations and spend a few days together, and she was sure Clarke would make a perfect addition.  She reached to turn the Christmas music playing on the radio up a few notches and fell into a content train of thought, empty road ahead of her.

“It’s just,” Clarke said, turning the radio down.  “I mean, I brought pies,” she frowned.  “That’s.. I should have brought something else.”

“You’re being crazy.”

“Don’t,” Clarke held up a finger at her.  “Your family has never met me and I’m bringing boring dessert.  Is there a store nearby?”

“Nearby their house? Yes,” Lexa said slowly.  “There are multiple stores nearby.”

“I need you to stop judging me and stop at a store.”

“What kind of store?”

“I don’t know.  You know your mother.  Pick one.”

“It’s Christmas eve.”

“Then pick the kind that’s open.”

Lexa just smiled at her.

\--

They had been sitting in the driveway for five minutes.  Clarke was sweating, and Lexa was quiet.

“I’m just a little nervous,” Clarke said.

“I promise they’re nice.”

“You’re not nervous?”

“No.  I love you.  I love them.  This is great.  I can’t wait to go inside.”

“What if my pies are terrible?” Clarke sighed.

“To be honest, the pecan one is a little iffy.  But the other two are solid.”  Lexa pinched Clarke’s shoulder.  “Can we please go inside?  I’m starving.  And there is wine in there.”

“You have to promise to cut me off before I get handsy drunk.”

“But I love handsy drunk.”

\--

She heard a sharp plastic click as she walked through the doorway and felt Lexa tense beside her.

“Clarke,” Lexa said quietly, staring straight ahead.  “Run.”

There was no time for anything else before she saw a nerf torpedo slam into the side of Lexa’s head.  She ducked, grabbed Clarke’s wrist, and yanked her to the side into the dining room.  

“What is - “

“I thought this might happen,” Lexa cut her off, leading Clarke to cover under the dining room table.

“What might happen?”

“War, Clarke,” Lexa said seriously.  “We can’t stay here.  My cousin - she’ll be leading the attack.  We need weapons.  They have numbers on their side, but their hands are tiny and uncoordinated.”  She shrugged out of her jacket as nerf bullets rained around them.  She balled up the jacket and turned to chuck it at a shadow moving through the hallway.

“I’m going to need some context here, at some point.”

“We have been fighting for generations.  The children serve as a plentiful army, but they lack discipline.  I think we can take them, but I need you.  Are you with me, Soldier?”

Clarke looked at her with her head tilted and her lips pursed in thought.  “Yes,” she said.  Lexa nodded and turned to lead her through a short hallway.  She held one hand up as she stopped at a door frame, crouching.

“Family room.  Four taking cover behind the couch,” Lexa whispered to her.

“Objective?”

“Obtain weapons.  Their main base will be closer to the kitchen.  Anya likes to use the counters for cover.”

“I have an idea,” Clarke stood up.  “Follow my lead.”

“Negative, Soldier,” Lexa frowned, straightening with her.  “You are under my command.”  Clarke winked as she pushed passed Lexa and dove into the room, rolling to the couch for cover.  She crawled on her elbows and as soon as she poked her head around the side of the couch, she felt the plastic end of a gun press against her temple.  She put her hands out in front of her and stared into the eyes of her attacker - a slight boy with messy brown hair and warpaint that looked like it might actually be crayon.  They sat in silence while the other three jumped in surprise.

“I’m here to negotiate,” Clarke said.

“We don’t negotiate with Lexa,” the boy said.  “She makes promises she cannot keep.”  Clarke heard a scoff from the hallway and swallowed her amusement at the boy’s speech.  Of course Lexa’s family would raise their kids like this.

“Well, I’m Clarke.  What’s your name?”

“Lucas,” the boy said with narrow eyes.  A small girl behind him elbowed him in the side.  “Captain Lucas,” he corrected.

“I’m here to make you an offer, Captain.  Will you fight for me?”

“We fight for Anya,” he said stiffly.  “She promised us extra dessert.”

“I can do better,” Clarke said and leaned forward toward him.  He tilted his head closer to hear her whispers.  Lexa grew restless at the length of their negotiations and poked her head around the doorway.  She shuffled quickly across the room and sat with her back to the couch, resting her wrists on her knees.  Clarke sat up next to her with a grin.

“I got us an army,” she said.  “Pick your weapon.  They really don’t trust you.  What did you do?”

“One year I made promises that their parents were not willing to uphold,” Lexa said with her arms crossed. One of the girls reached across Clarke and tapped Lexa on the nose and she huffed.

“No moping, Soldier.  We’ve got a fight to get to,” Clarke said.

“What did you promise them?  And I’m definitely a higher rank.”

“It’s a secret.”  Clarke lifted Lucas on to her shoulders and he raised his gun high above his head, leading the charge.  The other three kids fell into line behind them and Lexa felt something heavy settle in her chest.

**\--**

 

“This is it,” Lucas said from his spot underneath an arm chair.  “They’ll be ready for us,” he warned.  Clarke nodded.  Two countertops served as a wide entrance into the open kitchen.  The counters lined the room, and a large island stood in the middle.  “Hannah, Zoe.” Two heads popped up from behind the back of the arm chair Lucas was laying under.  “You cover the side of the counters, there - quiet!”  The girls ran to the counter and leaned their backs against it.  “Good - Ben, you cover the other exit.  Lucas, you’re with me.”  Lucas gave her a short nod.  Clarke lunged to the other set of counters, opposite Hannah and Zoe.  She held her arms out to Lucas, who leapt across the opening and into her arms.  She set him down and ruffled his hair.  

“What are my orders?” Lexa said grumpily.

“Will you follow them?”

“Maybe.”

“You’re a decoy.  Stand up.”

“I should have brought someone else,” Lexa sighed.  She took a bow and arrow set from Ben and fired an arrow up and over the island.  “Anya,” she called.  “We have taken control of your family room faction.  We have you surrounded.  Surrender now, and we will grant you dessert privileges.”

“You would fight for Lexa, Lucas?” Anya’s voice came from behind the island.  Lucas’ head shot up from behind the counter.

“We fight for Clarke,” Lucas spat.  “Lexa does not speak for us.”  He ducked his head back down as a nerf bullet flew over his head.

“It’s true,” Clarke called. She glanced over and saw Lexa glowering at her.  “But Lexa’s deal stands.  Give up and you can still have dessert.  I brought pie.”  There was quiet.

“What kind of pie?” came a small voice from the kitchen.

“Three kinds of pie,” Clarke said.

“Enough.  I accept no pie deals,” Anya growled.  “Give us Lexa and we can talk.”  Clarke opened her mouth to reply, but Lexa stood up, face grim.  She leveled her bow at the island and waited.  Eventually, a noise came from the kitchen and a boy tumbled from behind the island.  Lexa let the arrow fly and hit him squarely in the stomach.  He threw his arms out dramatically.

“I’m hit,” he yelled.  “I’m..” he crumpled to the ground.  A stream of children surged over his body, shouting battle cries and promises to avenge him.  Lexa shot as many as she could before they overtook her, tackling her to the ground.  

“Hannah, Zoe!” Clarke shouted at the girls who were staring with a kind of wide-eyed amusement, but they snapped to attention and blindly fired into the chaos.  “Captain,” Clarke said to Lucas with her hand on his shoulder.  “This is your command now.  Make ‘em pay.”  He saluted and turned to the group, gun raised.  Clarke jumped over the side of the counter into the kitchen and pressed her shoulder against the island.  Lexa was shouting from beneath the pile of children.

Clarke took a breath and shot to her feet, finding Anya in the same position.  She had three guns strapped to herself.  They levelled their guns at each other in silence.  Anya raised her chin and Clarke took a slow step forward, but Anya didn’t retreat.  There was a loud noise from the other room and if either woman was willing to look away from one another, they would have seen Lexa shakily getting to her feet, peeling tiny hands off of her shoulders and shaking them free from her legs.  Two children were perched on the back of the couch, and as they leapt in tandem onto her back, she shouted, threw out a hand in front of her, and crashed to her stomach.  She groaned as the kids flopped on top of her.

“Your army fights for nothing,” Clarke said between her teeth.  Anya glared at her.  

“They fight for many things,” she growled.  Growling seemed to come naturally to her.

“I don’t mean -- You know I didn’t --” Clarke stuttered, losing her place.  Anya smirked at her and Clarke cleared her throat.  “You’ll lose,” Clarke said.  “And no one will have pie.  Surrender.”

“You’re really into this pie,” Anya said.  “What is it made of, anyway?”  Clarke pushed the end of her gun against Anya’s chest in response.  Hannah climbed up the side of the island and settled on her knees beside them.  She tapped Clarke’s shoulder.

“Is it time?  Can we do it now?” She asked.  

“Two seconds, Han,” Clarke said, wrapping an arm around the girl and hoisting her up onto her hip.  “Surrender?”  Anya rolled her eyes with a sigh and dropped her gun to the countertop.  Clarke grinned and Hannah threw her fist in the air, whooping loudly.  The group of kids in the other room paused and looked up at them curiously.  Clarke picked up Anya’s gun and turned to them.

“You have fought bravely,” Clarke addressed them.  “But your commander has fallen, and a good leader knows when to stop fighting.  Today, you are all heroes.”  She gave them a stern look and a salute.  They all snapped to attention to return it.  She turned to Lucas.  “Captain, gather your troops and clean up.  Meet back here to collect your reward.”  Lexa had made it to her feet again and was breathing heavily, resting her hands on her thighs.  Clarke set Hannah on the ground to follow the rest of the horde.

“You really make an entrance, Clarke,” Anya said.

“She’s a natural,” Lexa grinned at her.

“Next time we’re entering a warzone, maybe just a warning?” Clarke said to Lexa.

“I told you to leave the pies in the car,” she said.  “How big of a heads up do you need?”

 

\--

The living room was warm, and it was quiet with the soft glow of the fireplace, and the twinkling lights of the tree.  Oversized armchairs and couches were filled with people holding mugs of tea, or glasses of brown liquor.  There was a level of Comfortable that was rare, and that Anya immediately disrupted upon her entrance.

“I don’t care what she promised you, traitor,” Anya shouted over her shoulder as she flopped onto a couch with no regard for who was sitting there, or what they were holding.  “This is bullshit,” she muttered.  Lexa and Clarke wandered in behind her, much more quietly.  

“Did you win, sweetheart?” an older woman asked Anya from an armchair next to the fire.  Anya glared at her.

“Your daughter is a cheater, Aunt Elaine,” Anya grunted.  Elaine nodded and didn’t look up.  Lexa shook her head and led Clarke to a free chair, sitting on the side of the arm and clearing her throat.  Elaine looked up and smiled.

“Ah, the cheater.  And the cheater’s girlfriend.  Who we haven’t been introduced to,” Elaine said, and Clarke blushed and stood up.  Lexa pushed her back down into the chair.

“This is Clarke,” Lexa said.

“I’m Clarke,” Clarke said.  She stood up again.

“I’m Lexa’s mother,” Elaine said.

“Yeah.  I mean.  I figured.  You look alike.  It’s your eyes. Oh, I brought you things,” Clarke breathed all of this very quickly, clasping her hands in front of her and fidgeting.  “They’re in the car.”

“Pie,” Anya scoffed as she pulled a glass away from the person she sat next to.  “Come on, Jenny, give it up, how many have you even had?”  The woman - Jenny - looked insulted, but then shrugged and handed her drink over.

“Yeah,” Clarke swallowed.  Lexa crossed her arms and smirked, not helping at all.  “And also we brought flowers.”

“Ah,” Lexa spoke up.  “Clarke brought flowers.  I had nothing to do with flowers.”

“I like her more than you already,” Elaine told her daughter.

“She’s proven herself a worthy enemy,” Anya agreed.  “She doesn’t cheat like Lexa does.”

“Don’t start with me, Anya,” Lexa glared at her.

“You’re adopted,” Anya said.

“I am not.  Stop saying that.  You say that every year.”

“Aunt Elaine?” Anya turned her face from Lexa.

“It was so nice before you girls came inside,” Elaine sighed.

“That’s not an answer,” Lexa frowned.  Elaine waved her off, and Clarke tugged on her hand and excused them to gather their pies - and flowers - from the car.  Anya turned back to them as they were leaving and mouthed “ _adopted_ ” at them.  Lexa whacked her with a pillow on her way out, and Anya spilled her drink all over Jenny.

“So, are you going to fight with your cousin the whole night?”  Clarke asked as they made their way outside, and Lexa’s brow furrowed.

“We’re not fighting,” she said.  And then, definitively, she repeated, “That’s not fighting.”  Clarke just shook her head.

\--

Clarke was leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen when Lexa came up behind her to wrap her arms around her waist and press her lips to the spot where her neck met her shoulder.

“You wanna get out of here?” Lexa whispered into her hair.  Clarke tried to swat her away.  

“I’m literally in the middle of a conversation,” she said.  Lexa raised her eyebrows at Anya over Clarke’s shoulder, but Anya rolled her eyes and walked away without a word.  Lexa was grinning as she pulled Clarke by the hip into the hallway and pushed her lightly against the wall.  

“Handled.”

“You’re the worst,” Clarke said, and Lexa leaned in to press their lips together.  Clarke gripped Lexa’s hips and pulled them closer, and Lexa pressed into her heavily.  Just as she felt Lexa’s fingernails against her scalp, she heard a happy shout down the hall, and she broke away at the intrusion to find Hannah looking determined and trudging down the hall towards them.  Lexa sighed and knocked her forehead against the side of Clarke’s face.

Hannah was dragging a bucket behind her that was half-filled with a thick, black liquid.  It sloshed lazily as she pulled it to a stop in front of them, and she grinned and motioned for Lexa to kneel down.  Lexa didn’t move, but Clarke did.  She knelt next to the bucket and swiped a finger through the liquid, rubbing it between her pointer finger and thumb.

“I knew it,” she mumbled, and swept Hannah to her side with one arm.  She swiped her finger along one of the girl’s cheeks, leaving a black line under her eye.  Hannah was all screeches and smiles as she struggled out of Clarke’s grasp.  Lexa was watching them with a small half smile, hidden behind a healthy amount of suspicion.  

“What is this?” Lexa finally settled on the floor next to them.  Hannah grabbed her hand and tugged her closer to the bucket as Lucas rounded the corner, followed by a group of kids.  Lucas looked to Clarke for approval.  

“I had to promise them something they wanted more than sugar,” Clarke explained with a shrug.  Lexa was staring at her with narrowed eyes.  “They really didn’t trust you.”

“We are here to collect,” Lucas said formally.  “Lean against the wall,” he gestured for Lexa to move.

“I don’t understand,” Lexa shook her head, but followed his directions all the same.  Lucas swept up a good amount of the liquid in his hand and tilted his head, focusing intently on Lexa’s face.

“The kids are applying your warpaint,” Clarke said.  She shuffled backwards to lean her back against the other side of the hallway.  Lexa looked like she might run away.  “Relax.  It’s crayon and vegetable oil,” Clarke soothed, and paused.  “Hopefully vegetable oil.”

“I didn’t agree to that,” Lexa crossed her arms.  “This is non-consensual warpaint.”

“Warriors deserve their rewards,” Lucas said in a stern voice.  “You say so every year.”

“That’s because I normally win,” Lexa grumbled.  Lucas motioned to two of the kids behind him, who moved forward to each grab one of Lexa’s arms and hold her down.  Hannah took a handful of the crayon mixture and rubbed it into one side of Lexa’s scowling face.  As she pushed the paint  around, Lucas focused on the other side of her face.  Bits of crayon were dripping down her cheeks, and Clarke had to bite her lip as she watched her grumpy girlfriend glower beneath her nieces and nephews.

\--

“You look very pretty,” Clarke bumped her shoulder into Lexa’s from her seat next to her at the table.  Lexa had her head bent down towards her plate, and her family was doing a very good job of not saying a damn word.  The table was overflowing with platters, smushed into any free stretch of tablecloth, between plates and beside candlesticks.  The chairs didn’t match, and siblings fought for elbow room and flicked crumbs at each other as they waited for everyone to settle.  It was louder and fuller than any Christmas Clarke could remember, and it was warm in the dining room, and she had had more wine than she realized.

“We never get to meet Lexa’s girlfriends,” Lexa’s mother said as she passed a bowl of mashed potatoes to her left.  Lexa shrugged and mumbled something into the the glass of wine she was holding.  Clarke ignored her and smiled.

“Thank you for having me,” she said.  “I don’t think I’ve ever had a Christmas quite like this.”  

“Neither has Lexa,” one of her brothers snorted, and Elaine threw a roll at him.  

“James,” she chided, and turned back to Clarke with a smile.  Lexa was glaring across the table, and Clarke moved to rest a hand lightly on her thigh under the table.  “What’d Lexa say, are you an artist?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Oh my god, she ma’am’d me,” Elaine swooned dramatically with a hand to her chest.  “Why don’t any of you heathens ‘yes ma’am’ me?” The table gave a collective sigh, and someone tossed a napkin at her.  Lexa scooted her chair a little closer, and covered Clarke’s hand with her own.  Clarke felt an arm around her back and she turned to see Anya passing a folded piece of paper to Lexa, who snatched it and read it quickly.  She leaned forward to glare around Clarke at the seat beside her.  Lexa reached around and pinched Anya’s shoulder, who yelped as she flicked water at her in retaliation.

“Do you two want to sit next to each other?” Clarke raised her eyebrows.

“We’re not allowed,” Lexa grumbled.

“You’re not allowed?”

“Whose fault is that?” Anya smirked.

“Okay,” Lexa held up a hand.  “You need to stop blaming me for the fire extinguisher.  You were on fire.”

“You _set_ me on fire,” Anya snapped and Lexa rolled her eyes.  Anya flung a fork-full of mashed potatoes at her, and Clarke jumped back in her seat.

“Excuse me,” Lexa’s mother cleared her throat.  “Okay, girls, you know the drill.  One nice thing about each other.”  Both girls groaned.  Lexa flopped over in her chair and hung her head to the side.

“I like your stupid shirt because it pulls attention from your stupid face,” Anya muttered.

“Your hair doesn’t look like you were mauled by a gorilla today, which is different,” Lexa sighed.

“Thank you girls, that was very nice,” Lexa’s mother waved them off, distracted by her now full plate of food.  Anya stuck her tongue out at Lexa, and Clarke reached for the folded note that started this.  She opened it and raised an eyebrow at Lexa, who just shrugged.  The note was actually a torn bit of napkin that had “NERD” written in big letters in what looked like eyeliner.  

“So,” Clarke said.  “You set your cousin on fire?”

“It was an accident.  And only a little.”

“Can anyone be only a little on fire?”

“Yes,” Lexa said at the same time that Anya said, “No.”  Lexa glared at her and Anya scoffed.

“Stop trying to intimidate me.  You look like a raccoon.  I can’t take you seriously.”

“You look very pretty,” Clarke leaned in and bumped her shoulder again.

\--

“Your bedroom is very,” Clarke paused, looking around the room Lexa had just led her to.   

“Intriguing?” Lexa finished for her, shutting the door and wrapping her arms around the blonde from behind.  “Mysterious?  Charming?”

“Red,” Clarke finished.  “It’s very red.”

“I think it makes me seem dangerous.  None of the other kids get to paint their rooms red.”

“Do the kids with red walls break curfew and shoplift from the corner store, too?”

“I don’t even have a curfew.”

“Okay, now this is weird because I feel like you’re actually fifteen.”

“The walls are terrible, I don’t know what I was thinking,” Lexa said immediately.  She leaned into Clarke and nudged her closer to the bed.  Clarke went willingly, turning in Lexa’s arms to face her.  She tilted her face up slightly to capture Lexa’s lips, and Lexa lowered her slowly onto the bed.  The comforter was pilling and the color had faded, but it was soft, and the bed squeaked a little as they settled onto it.  

“I can’t believe you expect me to sleep in a twin bed with you,” Clarke said as Lexa leaned beside her.  

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Lexa said softly, just above a whisper.  “I don’t expect you to sleep at all.”  Clarke closed her eyes.

“I’m conflicted because that was pretty smooth, but does your door even lock?”

“I’ll get a chair.”

“Lexa.”

“‘Pretty smooth?’”

“You’ve done better.”  Lexa kissed her soundly in response.  Clarke hummed, and Lexa slid her tongue along her bottom lip.  Her lips parted, and Lexa deepened the kiss, hands moving just under Clarke’s shirt to skim along her bare stomach.  Clarke arched into her, and Lexa smirked against her mouth.  Lexa pulled back an inch or two and took in Clarke’s hooded eyes and slightly parted lips.  Her hand moved down and as her fingertips brushed the top of her jeans, Clarke grabbed her wrist.

“Get the chair,” she breathed.

\--

It was hot.  Her forehead was sticky, and her face was covered with hair that wasn’t hers.  Clarke shifted, sticking to skin, and tried to kick a leg out from under the blanket.  The figure next to her - the source of all the heat - grumbled softly and rolled towards her, throwing an arm over her chest, and it was too much.  She needed the blanket to go away, she needed less on top of her, she needed her girlfriend to wake up and realize she was ruining Clarke’s morning.  What she didn’t need was to misjudge the size of the bed, and shift so completely that she tumbled off the side, and onto the floor.  She landed with a grunt, and lay there unmoving.  She rolled onto her back and stretched out, naked and sighing at the rush of cold air, closing her eyes.  A moment later, Lexa’s head appeared over the edge of the bed.

“Y’okay?” Lexa mumbled, eyes squinted, hair everywhere.  Clarke nodded.  “Are you going to stay down there?” Clarke nodded.  Lexa grumbled something and Clarke heard the sheets shifting and the bed squeaking.  She felt a foot touch down beside her, and she groaned as Lexa lowered herself onto the floor with her and curled into her side.  

“No,” Clarke moaned, arching away from her and kicking her feet in frustration.  “No, you’re too hot.”

“I know,” Lexa murmured, pressing her face into Clarke’s neck.  “But sleep now.”

“Lexa.”

“Clarke.  Sleep.”

“I can’t sleep and I want to break up,” Clarke growled.

“No you don’t,” Lexa breathed into her, and she grew heavy and relaxed, and Clarke knew she had fallen asleep again.  Clarke waited for five excruciating minutes before she lightly peeled Lexa off of her, and rolled to her feet.  She struggled into some clothes, unstuck the chair from under the doorknob, and shuffled into the hallway, closing the door softly behind her.  She followed the smell of coffee into the kitchen, where Elaine flitted between plates and pans and a mountain of eggs waiting to be cooked.  A few other people sat hunched around the counter, holding mugs of coffee and blinking at her slowly.

“Merry Christmas, Clarke,” Elaine sang, and pulled an empty mug down from a cabinet.  

“Bless you,” Clarke sighed as Elaine handed her the mug and waved her towards the coffee pot.  

“I don’t like eggs,” Jenny grumbled from her seat at the island.  She looked like she had seen better mornings, and it made Clarke think about her own sweaty hair and and unbrushed teeth.  

“You’re an adult,” Elaine said to Jenny.  “I don’t care what you like.”  She cracked eggs with one hand, rapid fire, into a pan, and they sizzled as Jenny sulked.  The kitchen filled with the smell of cooking breakfast, and Anya wandered in shortly after.

“Clarke,” she nodded at her and grabbed the mug that sat in front of Jenny.  She lifted it to her lips and danced away from Jenny’s attempt to reclaim it.  “I don’t want to alarm you, but I found Lexa passed out naked on the floor of her bedroom.”  Clarke fumbled with her mug and blushed so completely that she felt a little dizzy.  “I couldn’t wake her.”

“Did she fall?” Jenny asked.  “Is she okay?”

“Oh,” Clarke said into her coffee.   _Shut up, Jenny_ , she thought.  “Yeah.  She’s fine.”  Anya was looking at her with no expression and it was like she could just see through her.  “Where are the kids?” Clarke said, voice high, clinging to a subject change.

“Sleeping,” Jenny said.  She grabbed a new mug from the cabinet.

“On Christmas?  What kind of kids sleep in on Christmas?”

“The kind whose father kept them up all night with ghost stories and nightmares,” Jenny said as she elbowed the man next to her.  Clarke thought his name might be Dan, but she couldn’t be certain.

“It’s tradition,” Maybe-Dan defended.

“Three children slept on my face last night,” Jenny snapped.  “And Zoe kicks.”  Maybe-Dan shrugged.  Clarke settled down onto a stool and leaned her elbows on the counter.  A plate of eggs was shoved between her elbows and she wanted to stand up and hug Elaine, because she was an angel, and the only person who didn’t look like they were actively judging her.  She fell into her breakfast and avoided eye contact with Anya.  

When Lexa finally stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes and blinking into the light, Anya wrapped an arm around her neck and pulled her close, rubbing her knuckles roughly into the top of her head.  Lexa squeezed her eyes shut, but didn’t fight it.

“So you are alive,” Anya said, not letting her go.  “And you did pack clothes.”  Lexa pushed against her.  She opened her mouth to continue, but a crowd of children stampeded through the hallway, screaming and headed straight for the presents under the tree.  One of them collided with Lexa’s leg and had her crashing down to her knees, bringing Anya with her.  Lexa planted her hand on Anya’s shoulder and used her to push herself up, shoving Anya farther down in the process.  Anya grabbed Lexa’s arm and tugged, and they tangled together, each trying to shove the other down more than trying to get up themselves.  Jenny walked over to the pair calmly and looked down her nose at them.  When neither girl acknowledged her, she reached out and tilted her coffee mug to the side, spilling the entire mug onto them.  They sputtered and lost their footing and fell in a heap onto each other.

“Shut up,” Jenny said simply, and walked back to her seat at the counter.

-

Lexa thread her fingers through Clarke’s and squeezed.  She was grinning with her chin high, bouncing lightly on her toes.  

“I can’t believe you got me a dirty gift,” Lexa whispered to her.

“I did not,” Clarke said and Lexa shook her head and pretended not to have heard her.

“Clarke Griffin gave me a sex toy.”

“You wrapped it and gave it to yourself.  Clarke Griffin had nothing to do with this.”

“There’s a card right here,” Lexa held it up.  “There’s a card that says you gave it to me.”  

“We’re in your parents’ house.  This isn’t a little weird for you?”

“They’re not paying attention.  They’re just happy nothing’s on fire yet; it’s like we’re not even here.  Come on.  Let’s get out of here and you can show me how it works.  Did you read the reviews?”

“Again.  You gave this to yourself.”  Lexa paused with her head tilted and was quiet for a moment before she nodded decisively.

“Alright,” she said.  “I mean, if you’re not interested.”  She turned towards the hallway and Clarke grabbed her forearm with a huff.

“I didn’t say that.”  Lexa tried to suppress her grin as she led Clarke down the hall towards her bedroom.  Clarke made a show of stomping after her, but the blush rising on her cheeks gave her away.  Lexa barely had the chair wedged beneath the doorknob before Clarke had pushed her against it.

\--

Clarke collapsed into the passenger seat of Lexa’s car with a huff while Lexa loaded boxes and bags into the trunk.

“Give me your keys,” she called.

“No,” Lexa said.  “Come help me.”

“No,” Clarke said, but got up and walked around the back of the car anyway.  She held out her hand to Lexa.  “Keys.  I want to find a station.”

“I know all the stations,” Lexa said.  “I grew up here.”

“Yes, but you have terrible taste and I don’t want your stations.”  Lexa hooked her arm around Clarke’s waist and pulled her against the side of the trunk.  Clarke grit her teeth and refused to laugh when Lexa tried to tickle her - because that would just encourage bad behavior.  She was spared when Anya came marching out of the house and punched Lexa in the shoulder.  

“It was not horrible seeing you,” Anya said, and Lexa let go of Clarke to face her fully.  

“Until next year, nerd,” Lexa nodded.  They stood across from each other in comfortable silence.

“You guys are so fucking weird,” Clarke spoke up, and moved forward to wrap Anya in a quick hug.  Anya just blinked at her, and Clarke let her go with a laugh.  “It was lovely meeting you, Anya.” Clarke waved a sort of salute at her and grabbed the car keys out of Lexa’s back pocket.

“I don’t like her,” Anya said to Lexa as she watched the blonde start the car and fiddle with the radio.

“I do,” Lexa said.  “You’re just surly that she stole your army.”  

“I suppose she’s not entirely horrible.”  Lexa punched her shoulder and smiled as she closed the trunk and moved towards the driver’s seat.  

“Yeah, she’s pretty great, isn’t she?” Lexa said over her shoulder.

“See you next year, dweeb.”

Lexa got into the car and busied herself with her seatbelt, checked the emergency brake, and flicked each blinker and the hazard lights before nodding and glancing over at Clarke, who was judging her from the passenger seat.

“Were you like, a school bus driver in a past life?  Who checks their blinkers?”

“Did you have an okay time?” Lexa asked and pulled away from the curb slowly.

“Your family is weird,” Clarke said simply.

“Bad weird?”

“No.”

“Your pies weren’t terrible.  Maybe don’t give a whole one to the kids next year.”

“I had to,” Clarke said seriously.  “I made a lot of promises to win that war.”  Lexa reached over and rested her hand on Clarke’s thigh.

“You certainly make an entrance,” she said.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on tumblr @smallamountsofmonster


End file.
